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What's Happening to Men?

Early this morning I felt such urgency and purpose about writing this article. The paragraphs were half-written in my brain as I was out walking the neighborhood before breakfast, talking to myself and nailing down my main points. I couldn't wait to get back to my keyboard to get started. But

As the day progressed and I got distracted with normal SAHM routines and responsibilities, I could sense I was losing my courage, as well as my focus. Maybe it would be better to just write about something not so edgy and less uncomfortable - - maybe explain how to find good quality dairy, or provide yet another list of healthy snacks for kids. But then I had a conversation with my sister over the phone, and this very issue came up yet again. And it was like God was telling me - "You're not getting out of this, Amy. I've put this in front of you again and again and again because I want you to write about it." And so I am.

Our men are struggling - in every way.

Not all of them mind you. Certainly there are some solid, dependable guys out there - imperfect (as we all are), but doing their best. I'm married to one thankfully, and I trust other women out there can say the same. But the vast majority of men I've come in contact with lately seem to have lost their compass...not certain who they are, what they stand for, why they are here, what they are supposed to accomplish, or even what it means to be a man or a role model.

They are weak - physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

They are sick - marked with tired eyes, swollen faces, and ever-expanding bellies.

They are aimless and complacent, secretly ashamed and insecure.

Last week I finished the book, Raising Boys to Men, by Durenda Wilson. Her most oft-repeated line throughout the book addressed what our boys were created to be and to do: "They were made to lead, build, protect, provide, and conquer. So many of the characteristics that culture finds 'unacceptable' in our boys are actually features, not bugs."

Amen to that! I couldn't agree more, and these are the words and the prayers I speak over my own two boys - that they will be confident, capable, godly young men who discipline their minds and bodies and seek after eternal things with big dreams and courageous hearts. Yet for all of these prayers spoken by mothers, how much more powerful would it be to have actual men setting this example for the next generation and living out these traits in the presence of our boys?

Over the past few weeks...months...years - I'm becoming more aware of the alarming lack of strong men in our society. We all point fingers at inept and lazy government leaders and complain about the evil that takes place in our nation day after day, but when it comes right down to it - those corrupt practices and wicked schemes are only a reflection of what's happening right here in our own towns, and even in our own neighborhoods. Possibly even our own homes. I don't want to speak for all women, but this disturbing trend makes me feel like females are going to be forced to pick up the slack to get things done (we already do), because there aren't enough good men fulfilling their God-given duties and leading with integrity.







Scheming, deceiving, and conspiring.



Keyboard warriors typing every profane word and derogatory statement they can possibly conjure up, yet proving themselves cowards when it comes to face-to-face encounters. Husbands abruptly abandoning their wives and children to pursue their own selfish desires and endless empty entertainment. Porn-addicted young men who can't engage in a lasting intimate relationship or manage to keep a steady job. Teenage boys allergic to manual labor and insulted by menial tasks. Moody basement gamers who shun the sun and actual physical activity so that they can live in an alternate reality of their own making instead. Deadbeat dads avoiding employment so they can escape child support payments. Timid, insecure men who struggle to make decisions and tremble at the mere thought of confrontation or accountability. Lifeless, sullen men in bondage to their appetites, their addictions, their social media feed, their medications, their fears, their overfed and undernourished bodies, and their victim mindset. Buddies trying to out-do each other in their attempts to ridicule, demean, and disrespect women. Irresponsible coaches in youth athletics promoting a "win at any cost" mentality for their young impressionable athletes who are just tiny human sponges eager to please.  Retirees happy to consume instead of finding new ways to contribute. Men too weak and spineless to stand up for what's true and good and right.

These are the kinds of distressing interactions I've had with men lately. These are the behaviors I've observed with my own two eyes. These are the stories I'm hearing from other heartbroken, yet brave and determined women.

Where is the courage?

Where is the passion?

Where is the leadership?

Where is the accountability?

Where is the work ethic? The drive?

Where is the self-discipline?

Where is the nobility? The humility?

Where is the selflessness?

Where is the wisdom?

Where is the security?


To the men out there who walk the talk and embrace your masculine role wholeheartedly - thank you sincerely. I see you and I appreciate you. You are the ones who give me hope and remind me that there are still some valiant knights answering the high calling, doing the right thing, and standing in the gap for our boys, as well as our girls. May you always be strong and courageous!

To the women of these strong men, I encourage you to thank them, praise their efforts, and pray for them often. Pray that they would lead with courage, resist temptation, seek after wisdom and godliness, and invest their heart and soul into the lives of their children, and especially their sons.

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